Our Return to the Jungle / It’s hot right now / Reflections

I can hear the cicada’s through the glass of our windows. The air is as thick as a greenhouse, and it smells like the inside of an iguana’s aquarium. It’s 93 degrees outside. Our apartment smells the same as the day we moved in, and I can’t help but feel some of the same nervousness, and homesickness as when we arrived a year ago. Yet, it feels like “home”, strangely.

For a year I talked endlessly about “home”. I dreamt of the food I was going to eat. Thought about how it would feel again to sit at the same intersections, and see the same strip malls I’d grown up seeing. Well, it came and went, and truthfully, it didn’t feel that different. The first morning I woke up, in Karen’s bedroom, it felt like no time had passed. It felt as if I had just had the longest most vivid dream of my life, full of elaborate details, tastes, smells, and sounds. We were back were we started.

As we drove down the same streets where we used to drive, I noticed that very little had changed. Sure, a lot had gone out of business, but most was the exact same. Even the one empty space at the food court in Grandville’s Rivertown Crossings was still vacant.

I thought going away for a year would give me a fresh perspective. I figured I would experience some sort of culture shock returning home. I wasn’t sure if I could hold back, “Kamsamnida” as I left a restaurant. I could. Things felt the same. The only overwhelming moment, what could be deemed as culture shock, was walking into a Whole Foods the day we arrived. There was so much delicious food, so many things I had longed for while grocery shopping in Korea. It all quickly passed. Meijer felt like the same old Meijer I grew up visiting (though the amount of Organic food, and snacks has increased).

The only thing I noticed, the change within my perspective, is that the U.S. is HUGE, and EMPTY. There is so much space everywhere! So few cars on the road! Where are the people at? And Malls! There is room to run in most stores, which is very different from the small boxes we cram ourselves in while looking at clothes in Korea. I’d be lying if I said, I didn’t enjoy the space, but after a while, I missed the crowded sidewalks, and busy subways. I couldn’t help but wonder why, on our way to Indiana, do Americans need so much space and privacy? Why do we choose to live out in the middle of nowhere? Then again, that is not to say all of the U.S. is like this. My experiences are based on suburban/country living with the metropolis of Seoul. I have just been won over by city living, which is something my 17 year old self, who declared, “I hate cities” would find surprising.

By far the most disappointing thing during our visit was my complete lack of appetite. Other than our first meal from the Whole Foods hot bar, a falafel sandwich that brought a smile to my face, and a meal cooked by my Mom, and a few others, most meals failed to live up to my expectations. I felt nauseous most of the time we were home. I had diarrhea numerous times (Too much information?). Stupid jet lag. I will just have to wait until next year.

Am I glad to be back in Korea? Yes. Am I sad to be back in Korea? Yes. I already miss our families and friends a lot. However, when I envisioned the life we would have lived if we’d chose not to come to Korea, I’m glad we’re here. We have a job. A good job. We have a bit of adventure. What I truly wish is that all of you would come here. I want to take you to a Noraebang at 2 am. I want us to all go eat Galbi together. I want to meet you somewhere in Seoul, and we’ll take a busy bus to a busy shopping street. Come. Please.

While we were home (U.S.) I caught myself telling Karen, “when we get home (Korea)…” And this is the problem: we’re stuck between two countries, both of which we call home, but only when we’re not in the other. We either have two homes, or are homeless.

It feels good to be back though. Our first lunch back here: Kimchi Bokkumbap, with Chamchi Kimbap was incredibly comforting. Tonight we’re meeting up with our co-workers, Kait and Mike for Dak Galbi. I look forward to seeing them, as well as our other friends, and, of course, our students. I missed Korea, and do not regret signing up for another year in the slightest.

I am serious though. Come to Korea. We’ll show you around. And, if you could, bring Whole Foods. And that cool summer you’re having…

Love, Cory